Scared...

I'm scared. I won't lie. I can't seem to explain exactly why, which is making it worse.
I'm panicky, nervous, jumpy, angry, short with people, everything is annoying me. I am terrified. After being so sick for so long, I do not....I can not go back to the way I was. I won't let myself. I feel almost bipolar...suddenly flipping from one mood to another with no warning whatsoever. I'm scared.

The scariest part about feeling this way is the not knowing. I feel so fragile and just not myself.

I keep bursting into tears and taking out my anger on those closest to me and that breaks my heart. The one person I never want to hurt the most is the person I'm always lashing out at.

I'm going to the doctor on Monday. I will not let this come back and I will not let it win.